Just Chill'n on Black Friday

Have you ever had the desire to stand in line early in the morning on Black Friday? If you answered no, then you are sane; if you answered yes, then you need help. I need help.

What is Black Friday, you ask? Well, that's the day after Thanksgiving when all the stores try to lure you in with fantastic deals. I decided to do my part to help the economy, and stand in line early in the morning so that I could take a crack at nabbing a 40" 1080p HDTV for around $200.

When I arrived at the front of Target, it seemed that the line was short; no more than 50 people between me and my giant TV. I figured some would be confused about where the TV was in the store; I planned ahead, and had mapped out my route. I also assumed that some might be slow, or weak, or infirmed, or handicapped in some way; I would pass by them without a moments hesitation. I told myself that waiting for 3 hours in the cold would be worth it. I kept repeating: "eye on the prize, eye on the prize...", as the temperature dropped, and the wind picked up.

Some people kept themselves occupied with various activities. Some played Angry Birds on their iPad, but all that did was create an angry man who did not yet own an iPad. Some brought lots of hot coffee, and some had little warmers, and some had special blankets and even a couple had tents; I had none of these. But, the hours ticked by, and I kept repeating, "eye on the prize, eye on the prize."

Approximately, 30 minutes before 4:00 AM in the morning, they came out and set up cones so that the cattle could run down the chute without any trouble. I noticed that what appeared to be 50 people in front of me several hours ago had now swelled to around 100. My TV dreams seemed to be fading from my cold, tired mind. But I kept saying, "eye on the prize, eye on the prize...", and then the wind started to blow.

As we got ready to head into the store, I looked at the line behind me, and it was as far as I could see, and the parking lot was full. More people kept coming all the time. Several people tried to get into the line, and they were rudely thrust away. Can you imagine how people who have been waiting in line, in the cold, for 4 or 5 hours feel? I can, and it's not happy.

So, the countdown starts, 5-4-3-2-1 we stampede towards the door, slowly at first, but then picking up speed. As soon as I get into the store, I run towards my prize. I scoot past slow people getting a cart (amateurs), and I run around clueless gawkers (slowpokes) and I finally get to where my HDTV awaits. However, I am in for a surprise.

When I get to the stack of TVs, there are only five left. Three of them are trapped by a lady that is laying (I am not kidding) on top of all three of them. A group of people are yelling at her and trying to physically drag her off. The other two TVs are being pulled in multiple directions by at least 8 people. I can't really see myself getting involved in any of this, so I just stand and watch for a moment; it is very entertaining (I am now cursing myself for not having taken a picture at this moment).

Suddenly, I get pushed from behind into a rack of clothing. I decide that getting out of there is the best idea, and so, after waiting in the cold for 3 hours, I walk over to another area, get a less desirable TV, grab a low-priced keyboard, and head out the door. As I left the area, I could still hear people fighting and hurling insults and threats at each other. I also heard on the store intercom: "code red in section 7!" I don't know what any of that means, but I am sure a fight was breaking out over the last few HDTVs.

So, was my mission a failure? I did get a couple of good deals, and I am sure they were gone in less than an hour. I did get to the cash register first, and was out of the store in less than 15 minutes. I did get to see people behave in a way that I rarely see, and I don't want to see again soon. You may ask, "would you do it again?" Why yes, I would, as long as the TV was large, and the cost was small.